Wasting Time

I apologize for the lack of posts for the last month or so.  I don’t know why I stopped writing.  I have been thinking about it a lot lately and I still haven’t figured out why I completely stopped writing.  I haven’t posted here, I haven’t posted to forums that I’ve been active in, I haven’t even posted much to my personal Facebook page.

I don’t know what is going on.  I don’t feel depressed but I do feel unmotivated.  I have only been running once or at most twice a week ever since the Gettysburg Half Marathon at the beginning of May.  I still owe a race report for that race, and even though I set a PR by 13 minutes, I haven’t felt the desire to write the post.

I have been halfheartedly following the slow carb diet.  I do just enough to keep things status quo but not enough to lose weight.  My cheat days lately have lasted Friday – Sunday.

Luckily, I’m not so self-destructive that I am undoing the good I have done, but I am wasting time.  I have lost 5 weeks that I could have used to get closer to my goals.  I’ve wasted 5 weeks and it makes me sad.

And I don’t have any answers as to why I’ve done this.

It could be that I just can only go so hard for so long and then I just need a break.

It could be that I’ve got too much stuff going on in my life to be able to sustain my focus on my health right now.  My husband’s parents are going through a nasty divorce that has really put a huge amount of stress on my husband and vicariously on me.

We have also been unable to sell our house after having it on the market for a year.  So we are currently right in the middle of a kitchen remodel which does tend to make diet planning….well…difficult at best.  Impossible at worst.

But despite the above excuses, I don’t feel like I have a good reason for not writing for the last 5 weeks.  I should be able to write about the good and the bad, but I haven’t wanted to write a word.  Even writing this post is difficult and seems pointless.  It’s like if I don’t have anything good to say, then I should just shut up.  How I am inspiring anyone with this post?  I’m not and am currently considering deleting it.

But I probably won’t delete it because I just need to get a post up on the site to get over this block that I have.

Now I will write about running:

I went for a nice run today.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  We are up at the beach this weekend (my birthday weekend!) so I was able to run one of my favorite routes, all along the ocean.

Here is  a view from the beginning of my run.

I decided to do sprints so I could (1) have an excuse to walk and (2) I didn’t have to go as far as I would have if it was just a regular tempo or long run.

Here is a stone house that I passed about half way through my route.  I love stone houses. This one is for sale for a cool $1.8 million.

I did just over 3 miles.  One mile was a warm up, then 4 quarter-mile sprints with a short recovery in between, then a one mile cool down.  I was able to sustain a 8:04 pace during the sprints which made me very happy!

After the run, I turned off onto a side path, and found a rock to sit on by the water.

I thought about how lucky I was to be able to run here, and to be able to spend the weekend in such a beautiful place.  I felt very blessed, despite any short term stress that I might be feeling, I am truly blessed and it was good to take some time to remember that today. Maybe it will help to snap me out of whatever funk it is that I am in.

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Comments

  1. Donna MacDonald says:

    I’m so glad you’re back, Laura! I think what you need to blast you out of any funk on earth is to buy that beautiful stone house. You have a spare 1.8 mil, don’t you? There’s a relatively new (about 3 years old) stone house here in Mystic (CT) that’s on the market for about 2 mil. I think the guy built it on spec. Yikes! Anyway – glad to see you back. I need inspiration on my eating plan – this week my cheat days blessed me with 3 pounds, so I think I’d better “cool” it with THAT plan.

  2. Laura says:

    Hi Donna,
    Thanks so much for your support! It’s nice to be welcomed back!

  3. Susan Barron Ambrose says:

    thanks Laura for the post and the honesty…I too have fallen off the running wagon and don’t know why. We moved to Ecuador I have a beautiful beach to run a long, ran 2 times and it was difficult to get used to the humidity (I’m from Northern California) so I haven’t been able to get back at it now that it’s the dry/cooler season. It’s just nice to know other people struggle also! I haven’t posted to any of the forums..penguins or over 50…need a swift kick!!

  4. Laura says:

    Thanks Susan. I’m sure moving to a new country must have been stressful, so that probably factors in to your struggles. If you do figure out what’s going on, please let me know!

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